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Young Writers Society



Cathedral Shadows

by xanthan gum


Shadow searching
in a cathedral
while vocalising
to the choir's tune
angel's shattered tears
are on the dripping window
fantastic fantasies flipping over each other
while spitting diamonds up
into the dust

shadow searching in the flamelight
while I sob to each thundercrack
SAVE ME from my nightmare, please
Oppressed in all my memories

I shadow search for a reason
a note of truth
to hold me here


...I'm sorry, but I've joined the choir...
But hearing them sing
and counting angel's tear shards
led me to believe that maybe temptation is meant to be led to

holdign hands
with God -
I've found my shadow


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267 Reviews


Points: 1050
Reviews: 267

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Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:40 am
Boni_Bee says...



^Ditto! :D It was a very good poem...and I can't say much after what niteowl said, so good job!!!




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1274 Reviews


Points: 35774
Reviews: 1274

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Fri Oct 28, 2005 3:43 am
niteowl wrote a review...



Overall, I thought this was beautiful. Just have a few little nitpicks: SAVE ME shouldn't be in all caps IMO, the ellipses before and after the first line of the fourth stanza didn't make a whole lot of sense to me (maybe I'm just stupid and don't get it?), the last line of that stanza is a bit lengthy (I would break it after maybe) and the first word of the last line should be "holding".

As for positives, I thought the first stanza was awesome. Keep it up!





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